My Night on THE TOWN

“You sat between the two of them,” my wife said. “You sat between the two of them! Come on! I can’t believe you didn’t move. That POOR couple will have a story to tell for the rest of their lives. ‘Remember that time when we went to see that movie and that jerk didn’t move?’”

“I did not sit between them, they sat on either side of me,” I said to my wife. “I was there first. I had been in my seat 40 minutes before the trailers started.”

Not that I was trying, but my plea impressed no one. My daughter stood up, rolled her eyes at me and said, “That sounds childish of you, Dad.”

Not that anyone asked her for STUPID opinion.

“You disappoint me, Dad,” the 9-year-old said, shaking his head and waving his index finger from side to side.

I didn’t ask for his opinion either. Know why? His opinion is STUPID, too.

It was becoming very clear to me that this was my morning to be picked on. Before I tell you what I did that was so bad, let me tell you something about myself.

What you must know about me is that I love movies. I love seeing movies in movie theaters. There’s something about sitting in a dark room staring at a giant screen that gives me a warm and fuzzy feeling. But there’s a catch.

I have to be sitting in what I regard as a good seat to truly enjoy the movie. I can’t even be sitting near a good seat in the house. I have to be in a good seat to enjoy the movie. I know it is kind of Rain Man of me, but that is just the way I am.

In this particular auditorium, there was one seat and only one seat in the entire theater that I considered good enough. That was the middle seat in the top row. It was one of those small rooms with very few seats.

If we were in an auditorium with 350 seats, there would probably be 40-50 great seats. In a place with that many seats, I wouldn’t want to sit at the top. I wouldn’t want to sit at the bottom. I could sit half way up and as close to the middle seat as possible. I like to call this sweet spot the middle-middle. Anywhere in the middle-middle and I would be happy.

Okay, so now that you know about me. Let me explain – FINALLY – what this is all about. I went to the movies. Picked out the perfect seat and was all ready to watch The Town starring Ben Affleck. The theater began to fill up over the next 25 minutes. Then the trailers started. After about 10 minutes of trailers, a woman in her early-to-mid 20s came into the row and asked if the 8 people to my left could all move down because she needed two seats together. The people moved.

I, however, stayed put. I had selected the perfect seat. I arrived 40 minutes before the trailers started. I did not arrive 10 minutes into the trailers with the expectation that because I needed two seats (and was too good to sit in that lower section. There were 20 or so seats in the lower section) that 9 people should be forced to move their drinks, popcorn, and snacks they snuck into the movie theater.

The young woman looked at me because I didn’t move. In fact, she did that little cough/throat clearing thing that people do when they expect you to move out of their way and you haven’t. I sat there. I didn’t say anything. I didn’t acknowledge her presence. All I know is that I wasn’t going to give up my perfect seat to anyone under the age of 70. If an elderly couple needed a seat, I would have moved for them. But someone in their 20s, forget about it.

Seeing that I wasn’t going to move, the lady pointed to the others (the ones that moved) and said, “Sir, we need two seats together.”

Her tone was really off. She may as well have been saying, “Hey, everyone else moved. Get off your ass and give us that perfectly wonderful seat because we want to sit together and we arrived 10 minutes into the trailers. We are special people.”

I didn’t say anything. She let out a sigh before saying, “I’ll buy you a soda.”

Again, I didn’t say anything.

When she came to the realization that I wasn’t moving, she sat down and waved over the guy who came with her. And they took their seats – on either side of me.

The old guy next to her offered her his seat so the two of them could sit together. But she declined, saying (loud enough for everyone in our auditorium and the one beside us to hear), “That is so nice of YOU, sir. But we are okay where we are.”

A couple of minutes later, the movie started. 2 hours and 10 minutes later the movie ended. It was an enjoyable film. One of the best movies I had seen all summer.

My wife and a couple of my kids think I’m a jerk. But I can live with myself. Know why?

I had the best seat in the house.